Osbourne Cox is a CIA analyst who quits his job after being demoted. He decides to write a memoir about his life in the CIA. His wife, Katie, wants a divorce and, based on the advice of her divorce lawyer, she downloads many of his personal and financial files onto a disc. Katie's lover is Treasury agent Harry Pfarrer. The disc eventually finds its way to Hardbodies, a workout gym. An employee of the gym, Chad Feldheimer obtains the disc and ascertains...

In 1939 London, Miss Guinevere Pettigrew is a middle-aged governess who finds herself once again unfairly dismissed from her job. Now she must seize the day if she wants a job. She does this by intercepting an employment assignment outside of her comfort level as social secretary. Arriving at a penthouse apartment for the interview, Miss Pettigrew is catapulted into the glamorous world and dizzying social whirl of an American actress and singer.

Hit men Ray and Ken have been ordered to cool their heels in the storybook city of Bruges (it's in Belgium) after finishing a big job. But since hit men make the worst tourists, they soon find themselves in a life-and-death struggle of comic proportions against one very angry crime boss.